With Nothing Less Than What You Started: Chapter 5, Excerpt 3

………..Now I mention the words arrogance and cockiness a lot in this book, and I would assume that those would raise red flags in the minds of many men, especially Christians. As Christians, it is fundamental to our faith to be aware of the perils of pride as it is quite possibly at the root of nearly every visible sin. Lucifer himself was not a sex pervert or some kind of ax murderer as far as we know, but when “iniquity was found in thee” it was his pride that got him thrown out of heaven. And through his pride and then downfall came all the rest of the depravity that he has become known for. With that in the back of the Christian mind, and the mind of the general American consciousness, a guy would be wise to question this whole cocky approach. After all, are not cockiness and pride interchangeable? Perhaps in the everyday sense of the words, but I’m here to tell you that when it comes to attracting a woman, there is a huge difference that must be observed in order to succeed in establishing attraction and a slight social dominance.

Cockiness is something that you want to have in your interaction with women. Combined with humor, it can serve as a secret weapon when looks or status just won’t do it. Pride is completely the opposite. It can poison the most promising relationship before it ever has a chance to become one. I will explain in detail. First the poison: many don’t realize it, but for many of us, that feeling of paralyzing fear we have in the pit of our stomach at the thought of approaching an attractive woman, is actually our pride. We don’t often think of it that way. We like to think of it as a justifiable fear of rejection, or wanting to protect ourselves from being hurt by a woman, but what is it that would be hurt? It’s our pride. It’s our exaggerated and unrealistic view of ourselves. You see, a view I’ve always had about pride, that you may at first argue is extra biblical, but I challenge you to study the Word and see if this idea doesn’t line up: that God hates and is disgusted by pride, because he is in love with, and cannot tolerate anything but truth. Do you ever feel funny after reading a passage like Exodus 34:14 that talks about God being jealous, or him doing or making things simply to glorify Himself? It sounds just a tad bit off to us because we have been taught our whole lives to not think too highly of ourselves and that traits like jealousy and self-glorification are not desirable in the least. When we see God outwardly admitting that he does everything for himself we get squeamish because we have a tendency of viewing Him in an anthropomorphic light. That is to say, we make God human in our minds. Now I believe that Jesus was God and human just as much as the next guy but that is not what I’m talking about. Pride isn’t really about things like jealousy and selfishness. It is simply about the truth, nothing more, and nothing less. When God talks about how great and wonderful he is, his statements and thoughts about himself are in perfect alignment with the truth. However, if a man were to think of himself as this wonderful, the way Lucifer did, then his mind has deviated far from the truth. His thoughts have become prideful just in the fact that they are elevated higher than the thoughts that “reality” has about him. This is why God, first of all, cannot be prideful even if he were to try. God could never have a thought so high of himself that it wasn’t also true. Perhaps the closest he could get to pride would be to think too low of himself, but then I’m not quite sure what that would be considered. On the flip side, man cannot think very highly of himself at all without getting off the path of truth. Being the sinful and death-deserving creatures that we are that are hardly even capable of recognizing the wrongs we do on a daily basis, let alone having the ability to correct them ourselves, it is easy to see that any kind of lofty thoughts about ourselves really do cross over the line into the realm of fantasy. This is why God loves humility in a man. Humility, unlike the weakness that our culture likes to pin on it, is actually a great strength. There is no strength in thinking something about yourself which is not true. That is why pride is the true weakness. Humility on the other hand is simply a mindset that is rooted in reality, and nothing more. The humble man knows exactly how high to hold his chin in the air. He holds it no higher and no lower. Now how does all this have anything to do with approaching a woman at the bar?…everything…………


1 Comment

  1. To me when a man comes off cocky it is a turn off! And I will take any chance to knock him down a few pegs. Some men… ok a lot of men don’t understand the difference between confident and cocky.
    When a man can walk up to a women and ask her on a date or simply ask to buy her a drink knowing that there is a 50% chance of rejection that is confidence. When he puts all attention on her… confidence. But when a man walks up and can only talk about how great his hair looks, his job, or anything that has nothing to do with the lady and everything to do with him. Cocky. Cannot stand cocky. He’s asking to be “beaten down” and I am still amazed that women fall for this.
    Then there is the faker. He seems sweet, kind and the perfect prince until you get him around his friends or down the road a little bit his true colors start to show. He lies, treats you like your nothing more then the dirt on his shoe and shows more love and affection to his dog then you. This man may or may not be able to change into that perfect prince. He needs a strong women who is not going to put up with it.


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