With Nothing Less Than What You Started: Chapter 3, Excerpt 2


Now that you’ve decided why it is you want to get the attention of a particular girl, and those images you’ve conjured up of you and her 10 years down the line raising a family together and living happily ever after have gotten you all pumped to go out and talk to her, you’ve still got something else to consider. This one may prove for some to be a little tougher than the previous chapter. It may even be a chapter that you are tempted to skip, but I assure you, no matter how difficult or easy this may prove to be, without it, you will ultimately be sunk with women, but with it, you will not only increase your success with females sevenfold but in life as well. It will take honesty (with yourself which often is the hardest kind to practice), courage, and a healthy dose of reality. You’ve figured out why you want her, but now the task is to discover…why should she want you?

I’ve found that often men don’t give much thought to this. They simply see someone that they want, for whatever reason, and go for it, without ever considering how or why they are going to arouse reciprocal feelings in the other person. This is foolish for two reasons. One is that whenever you want something, you should always have a plan or a strategy on how you are going to obtain it. It doesn’t have to be a complex strategy, but a goal without a clear plan on how to achieve that goal is simply some lofty fantasy that has no ladder connecting it to your present reality. Imagine you are playing one on one basketball against a guy that is bigger than you, stronger than you, and jumps higher than you. A strategy for winning that that consists of simply scoring more points than he does is foolish. Scoring more points is just like saying, “making her want me.” Of course that’s what constitutes winning but that still doesn’t give you any clue on how it’s actually going to happen. You must assess your opponent and also assess yourself, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and how they match up against his. For your basketball game, he may be bigger but you may be much quicker. He may be able to block your shot if you take it down low but out on the perimeter he can’t guard you and you just happen to be a great shooter. And if you’re not a great shooter, become one. You have to be thinking of these strengths beforehand so that you know to play to them if you want to give yourself the best chance to win. A woman is the same way. Women in today’s world have hundreds if not thousands of learned and built in defenses to ward of ‘players’ from ‘scoring.’ Now to continue with the basketball analogy, I believe that this sports quote can also apply to approaching women, “Good offense always beats good defense.” That’s good news for us, but if you don’t already know your strengths and weaknesses, and what you have to bring to the table before you even approach the ‘game’, then you can prepare to get ‘shut out’………………..

………………….I was once told by a friend who had worked in sales for 30 years that the art of selling isn’t actually selling at all, but it’s showing the other person that you actually want to help them. A woman has needs; emotional needs, romantic needs, sexual needs. Women have Maslow written all over them and they are constantly on the lookout for someone or something that can meet these needs. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. As we know the Lord is much more than enough to satisfy our needs in their entirety but in the sense of romance, sexuality and human companionship, many of these female needs can be met by you. The only problem is that when you approach a woman with a foul pickup line or something of that nature, she can sense from a mile away that you are trying to sell her something. And just like in the sales world, that sense brings up so many negative feelings in a woman. Selling makes her think you are trying to con her, that you are only looking out for self and not her interests. Once a woman gets a hint of that, no amount of smooth talking or brilliant one-liners is going to break that barrier. Again, here the art is to know the product you’re selling (yourself) and then don’t sell it. Show her how by investing in you, she is actually helping herself meet some of those needs she has. That’s what knowing yourself is like. You have to have a good sense of what you can offer a woman and then an effective way of showing that to her. (Keep the effective way of showing her in mind. I’ll touch on that later on in the book. It might not be exactly what you think)…………………

 

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